Are You Doing Enough to Support Multi-Racial, Multi-Ethnic, Multi-Faith,
Multi-Cultural & LGBTQ professionals fairly?
The Wedding Industry is segregated,
racist and homophobic in many places still to this day. The subtle
or not so subtle gestures, clues, inferences facial squints and
unwritten policies that usually ends up with the inevitable “No”
that people (who are different) will endure needs to be recognized.
The impact is felt financially, emotionally and in some cases
legally. It is sorrowful for us even as a Premier Wedding Event
Production Company, that we too are relegated and pigeonholed when
getting referrals to only those ”Ethnic” Events and
clientele. Sure, we have built a reputation and a following of being
able to bring cultural authenticity and that unique touch of
specialism and panache to places. Thereby, we regularly and for the
sake of our business, find ourselves having to take on the role of
educators and cultural ambassadors. While conversely seeing our other
less talented white counterparts thrive and get bolstered in this
environment. It breaks our hearts to have also seen some of our
colleagues falsely accused and even imprisoned because their services
needed to be filled by one of their own. Perhaps it was
because the replacements were less expensive or that the heavy
lifting was already done. But, at the end of the day, their race was
weaponized and fed into a system that was all to willing to buy in.
Who Decides who gets referrals and
jobs in the Wedding Industry?
Why are these social norms being
perpetuated? Who owns these “higher end” hotels and venues? The
good ole boy's club of hoteliers is the answer. Whether it is J.
Willard, or C. Hilton or any of the wannabees that have kept plugging
away, the status quo is alive and well in corporate America. It
spills into almost every facet of what we do and who we are to
them. Like most organizations, the racial pyramid is full of
diversity at the base, bu the higher up we go, the cream is on the
top. And who do they usually hire and get to intern for them? For
what ever justifiable reasons they make for themselves:
People want to feel comfortable by nature and they inevitably end up
hiring a Sales force that is hardly diverse. Most of the time,
most referrals come from the Sales and Catering Departments of these
Venues and Hotels. Who typically ends up filling those thousands of
jobs demographically? Where do the tributaries come from that are
feeding that river? 9 times out of 10 or more, those positions are
filled by white small town, home grown women without any stamps on
their passports.
It is a delicate dance with us, because
we know that it would be detrimental to our business if we were
labeled as ungrateful. The word itself congers a deeper
meaning that goes back to servitude and how dare us want more! How
dare us minorities want a fair shake? As a real minority owned
business*: Should we stay in our lane and be happy eating the
scraps? We produce Award Winning work. Images of our work is in
almost every Wedding publication in our area that we open.
Frequently, we see our work when it is used by a venue showcasing how
beautiful their place is. However, there is never a caption giving us
credit for our work being responsible for making that very feature or
advertisement possible. After all those hours of sweat, hard work,
preparation, storyboard planning, on the spot modifications,
specialty goods we had to import/procure and the creative, artistic
intellectual property that we poured out to make that plain ballroom
look Magazine Ready. How is it ungrateful for us to ask the question
of why we hardly if ever get referrals to do those All
American traditional white weddings? Is it disrespectful for
us to question that while we are put on the list of Preferred Vendors
at most venues, but when inquiries are made at those very venues
whose list we are on, it's usually met with: “oh yes, they do a
lot of our Multi-Cultural Events”. Which ends up being type cast
Code Words for “Yeah, No...” It seems that though we are being
served up, it is seemingly with a schmear.*Statistically,
there are more women than men on this planet and there are more
Caucasian in America than other ethnic groups. Therefore, white women
who own businesses should not be considered as minorities
in our opinion. We feel that we should make another classification as
Female Owned instead. This would enable real minorities to get those
bids more fairly.
So What can You do? What should be
done to help fix this problem?
Is it just idealistic thought to
ponder: If we are going to be judged, why they don't just direct
inquiries to our website, our social online showcase of design
talents, our experience, the sumptuous images that our work has
created and consider our services based on that? It would become
apparent that we pride ourselves in being able to cook visual feasts
for all walks, regardless of their tastes. backgrounds and budgets.
If we were served up fairly, they would potentially find that we
actually do lots of All American white weddings. For us, it
would simply mean that they need us to not cook it as spicy,
something well within our purview. We can cook that visual feast
extra spicy, medium or mild. We are proud to have done work for
couples who are same sex, various faiths and multi-racial. This is
Our World to us. Seven Continents and Seven Seas and we have loved
being at the forefront of being one of the First and Finest in the
fight to let our voices be heard, to render our services. Truly we
are Stronger Together! So, let's have an honest conversation and make
smart inclusive gains that elevates us all.
We want to share some
sage advice with you, that we have learned over our many years in the
businesses that will help you make informed decisions that save you
time and money.
- Pick a planner that can give you access to everything you need to make your vision come true. They should have experience, cultural knowledge and be well versed in the area where the event is to take place
- Do not settle for a watered down version of your vision unless your budget is the main determining factor. Pick a Pro with integrity that you can trust. Read their reviews and go with your gut. If they do not have any reviews let the Buyer Beware. You do not want to be part of an experiment or the first one they are doing. This could lead to a potential fiasco.
- Recognize when you are being routed to a vendor that may not fit your needs and watch out for and listen for code words that might get dropped in order to influence your decision detrimentally.
- Each planner should be able to give you a minimum of three referrals to any of your need areas. Such as photographers, DJ's, Venues, etc.
- Most importantly, pick someone who has good chemistry with you and your family. The Wedding is a process and you will want a person by your side that you feel comfortable with that will represent your interests with the utmost good faith, loyalty and fidelity while not weakening your position when negotiating.
- Make sure that there is a confidentiality clause in their hiring agreement. This protects you and them from people wanting to know your personal business, what you paid and other personal details that should not be made public. Make sure that their contract spells out everything you are getting.
- Stalk their social media. Make sure that the images that they are posting are of their work and not hijacking other people's efforts while fronting as if it were their own. It's okay for them to showcase other people's talent, but they need to disclose that in the post and not leave it open for misinterpretation.
- Bundle when ever you can. If your vendors have a track record of being able to do more than one thing, use them first. We pride ourselves in being the one stop shop. It cuts down on the amount of people that need to be interacted with and with the amount of times you will have to explain things. In the long run, it will save you thousands of dollars too.
- Keep everyone safe. While in the midst of this pandemic, many of you will have to make the hard decision to reschedule, postpone or modify your Wedding dates. At the end of the day, we strongly urge you to take every precaution available to protect the lives of your loved ones. It is supposed to be a celebration of life. Let's do our part in keeping it that way. If that means handing out PPE and observing social distancing during your event, then make the rules clear. Make everyone aware of the seriousness of policing each other. You don't want your Wedding to be remembered as the place where a hot spot was created and another outbreak began. If you must gather, do it responsibly and safely. No buffets, servers with PPE and gloves. Protect the most vulnerable. Observe the CDC guidelines not necessarily the individual State Mandates. https://www.cdc.gov/coronavirus/2019-ncov/faq.html
- Find alternatives should your big day not be possible and seek out people and professionals who have answers and choices for you even if they compromise your original dream. You can always get married now in a small intimate elegant way, get those professional images and have your big party later. Life must go on and we don't know how far up the road you will have to kick this can. Make sure your vendors will be flexible with your rescheduling if needed.
- Pay their worth. We know that it's hard out here. Many restaurants have gotten a lot of press that are going under because of the current state of affairs. There are GOFUNDME sites all over. But, this industry is sink or swim and you get what you pay for. So go with an established company who will be around to weather the storm ahead. By beating them down in prices, you end up creating a toxic environment that benefits no one in the long run. People show us images pulled from the internet of Million Dollar Weddings. Needless to say, their budgets are not that lavish. Nice things cost money and if you cannot afford them, fill your cart with things or the version of those things that you can afford. Listen to these experts, they want to serve you.
- Be Honest with them. Tell them your budget upfront so they can use their skills to help you make that dream come true. This transparency greatly benefits you in the end. It saves you loads of time and going back and forth. It saves you from frustration and unnecessary meetings after meetings. Get on with it and make the hard decisions early in the process.
- Enjoy your special day. Though the process may seem daunting, at the end of the day You should be able to Celebrate Your Love for One another responsibly without embarrassment, without guilt and with a Pride that will last for many years to come. The images from this day will out live us all and we want you to be shown in your very best light.
These are not political
issues, they are human ones. We want you to be your Best and
even though we all will probably make mistakes, please make your
intentions error on the side of RIGHT. Seek out professionals from
all walks of life because of their Diversity. Look at their
work and be cerebral about your decisions and give people a fair
vetting in your decision making process. If you use this formula
eventually you wont have to ask yourself : “What can I do about
making it better?”
Let LOVE win!
Truly,
The Team at Big Bow Events
